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I do not like making big decisions. I am always afraid I'm going to regret it, so I'd rather decide to do nothing. Unfortunately, that doesn't always work.

I have a rather large decision to make soon. I have been offered an extra position at school, and I need to decide if I would like to take it. Currently, I am the grade level facilitator for our TRIBE program. That means that, this year, I am in charge of planning and organizing lesson plans 12 times a year for the junior class advisories. Additionally, I train the 20 or so staff members who have junior advisories. The position I've been offered for next year is the Building Coordinator position. This means that I would be in charge of organizing everything for all of the grade levels, ensuring that the GLFs have everything they need, preparing for a workshop at Focus on Instruction, communicating with parents and administration, and putting all of the lessons on the website. I would have to meet once a month after school with the Building Coordinators at Kennewick High and Southridge, and once a month or every two months with central admin. Some of the stuff--organizing and communicating with staff--I'm great at, and would really enjoy. Other stuff--parents! executive decisions!--I don't enjoy.

I am very flattered to be offered the position, but I can't decide if I want to take it. I don't yet know what the additional compensation would be, but I'm not sure if I can do all the after school meetings. I am on site council again next year (one meeting a month) and really am interested in the district science curriculum committee, which will be having more and longer meetings in the evenings, since we are choosing a textbook. I'm already missing so much of Katie's life, and I think that is worth more than any compensation. It seems to me that the main reason that I would take the position is that I don't know who else would do it, and I think I would do a good job. And really, my daughter is more important than that.

It sounds like I've decided, and I really almost have made up my mind. So why do I feel like I haven't?